Sunday, November 26, 2006

The holiday season has begun

I hate Christmas lists. This is not what Christmas is all about. No, no, no, no, no. This isn't a holiday for you to receive all the stuff you were too cheap to buy for yourself over the past few months. Maybe stuff you couldn't afford. But Christmas lists take all the joy out of the holiday, which comes from painstalking searching for the perfect gift for someone based on that person's personality, taste and relationship to yourself.

'Well,' you're saying to yourself, 'how is anyone going to know what to get me? My Christmas list prevents my parents from buying me worthless trinkets I didn't want in the first place.' Hm. Well I say, Suck It Up. Christmas isn't about you. Do you think I wanted/needed footy (sp?) pajamas or a Discovery Kids fish tank over the last couple of years. There is no question mark at the end of that sentence because the answer is clear. What you get doesn't matter - mmm duh it's what you give. And so don't be a lame ass this holiday season and put some thought into gift giving instead of foolishly resorting to people's Christmas lists. You will ruin Christmas that way, you know.

I like to write posts about how peeved I am about life. It gives the impression that I am never happy. Ha!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Ode to the Great Things in LIfe

One of my favorite things in this world is free food. Food is delicious. And it costs money. No one likes to spend money. So what could be better than something delicious that costs nothing? I think we all know the answer here. Nothing better exists.

This post is inspired by the box of bagels and cream cheese I discovered on top of the microwave at Lee Hills. I was going to make some popcorn. Instead, my hunger can be satisfied by this no-cost cream cheese smothered bagel, and I can save the popcorn and eat it later. In the long run, I don't have to buy as much popcorn - um, awesome.

Now some people think us women have it hard in this world, ever struggling to eliminate the glass ceiling and all. Psh. I enjoy being female because it entitles me to more free food than my male peers. Guy-buying-girl food is much more common than the opposite action. Now that I think of it, one of the downfalls of being single is the amount of money I have to spend on food. I am going to find myself a boyfriend right this minute.

Monday, November 06, 2006


Earlier today, I swear I complimented myself on how independent I had become. Yes, I most definitely was all set to pat myself on the back as soon as I had the chance. "Good job, Betsy. You are so awesome. You don't need anyone."


What does independent mean? It means you can do it all yourself. Well, I can do the following things alone: wash clothes, cook food, make bed, get dressed, these sorts of things. What I cannot do for myself is be my own support, on many different levels, when I completely screw up. Such an idiot sometimes, I am. Look, now I'm Yoda. My sense of humor is spectacular. Or should I say, ridiculous. I feel my posture slooping right now, physically, emotionally, mentally and whatever other allys there are too.