guess what blog readers, im FREAKING OUT

so I was just sitting here at my computer spazing out about life in general, is spazing even a word? I thought I would take a moment to type up about it. here is why things are eeeeeeeeeek: I haven't eaten in a really long time, I think the last time I ate something semi-substantial was eight hours ago and that was some handfuls of popcorn. I don't have time to eat anything though because I haven't yet figured out how to get to florence next week and I need to do that before I leave for amsterdam in five hours. surprisingly, I really want to take a shower which I know you find hard to believe and so do I, but what is even more painful than the idea of me actually wanting to shower is the idea that I might not have time to. Also I need to pack for amsterdam, and stealthily take my clothes off the drying rack on the balcony without waking madame up and I need to make a frickin sandwich for the 82302804 hour train ride tomorrow, will I have time to do those things in the a.m.? Can I take a shower in the a.m.? How early do I have to wake up to do all of this? Am I even going to wake up? Am I going to forget my train tickets? is the beatrix potter team going to leave without me? Is my sister mad at me, because we only spoke for a few minutes today? I miss her so much my tummy hurts. Or does my tummy hurt because I am so hungry. She told me Gabbie is dying, she is the oldest dog. I think that is going to mess things up back home a lot. I am starting to cry now because I don't like to think about death, and I never got to say goodbye to Gabbie and when I was staying at home she wouldn't go upstairs and sleep with the rents she would sleep by my door to protect me. Why didn't I get to say goodbye to anyone? And all the while I am worrying if something dramatic has happened to me and I have become a different Betsy than I used to be or if I am the same Betsy I always was, but the Betsy I used to be was not the real Betsy? It's very complicated, you see, perhaps I am having identity issues? That is almost comical. I only have €1.24 credit left on my cell phone. These are the things I am worrying about right now. But don't worry friends. I'll be in Amsterdam in less than 24 hours. I will feel better!